when it rains, it pours.

So, it all started on Thursday, July 30th. Earlier in the evening I applied to a few jobs, like I usually do. Didn’t think too much of it. Went to bed around 11, and, didn’t sleep. Thursday night was one of the worst nights I’ve had in a long time. I couldn’t sleep, and rolling around in my head were all the negative thoughts about myself, my life, and my current job situation that have been plaguing me for the past eight months. Normally they’re kind of just…around. But I let them in on full force Thursday night and it was unbearable. It was ugly, let’s leave it at that. So I’m in bed sobbing disgustingly, and finally I can’t take it and I get out of bed, turn on the lights and just let it all go in my written journal (yes, I have one. Even though I get REAL personal up in here, there are some things that should be left to a written journal or a conversation between friends after a couple of glasses of wine. – also, isn’t it sad that some kids these days realllllly don’t have the sense to know that? – also also, can you believe I just said “kids these days” ??) Um, what? Oh, ugly thoughts written in journal, right. So yeah, I got ‘em all on paper and felt a little better, I guess. Sometimes you don’t realize how overwhelmingly negative or irrational your thoughts are until you put them on paper. So since I was up, I went online to look at some of my more obscure job posting places and see if there was anything new. I applied to another job on a whim.

Dawn breaks, and I don’t see it because I don’t get up until 11. Seriously, you know whose blog you’re reading, right? The day went on as it normally does, except for that by the end of it, both jobs I had applied to on Thursday (the rational 8pm one and the hysterical last-ditch wtf 1:30am one) had contacted me for interviews on Monday. I was excited but also nervous and full of dread. The four interviews I had prior to these had not gone well, so why should these be any different?

I spent the weekend preparing, way more than I usually do. Going line by line on the job description, making sure I have responses for all the job functions, preparing questions, maybe an anecdote or two (seriously) and taking a few notes on the companies. I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night.

So I had my phone interview on Monday and ten minutes in I thought to myself, “Well there goes THAT, way to be awful, self”. Why ten minutes in? Because I had chosen to prepare myself and my notes at the dining room table, where apparently my phone doesn’t get reception. So the interviewer called, and I didn’t pick up. Luckily by the time I realized something was up, I think it was only 2 minutes after she had called, but STILL. So I called her back, apologized profusely and explained the situation, and on the interview went. Somehow, my sparkling personality and professional acumen earned me a 2nd interview on Thursday. I was excited, really excited. It was moving quickly, it gave me a confidence boost for the in-person interview I had later that day, and also, when was the last time I even got to this stage? Good times.

The other interview on Monday was a little weird, because it was actually with a recruiter on behalf of the position I had applied to. So I went in there and she ended up forwarding my resume to the job I had originally applied to, as well as another one. Freebie! Then I took a typing test. 63 WPM, 99% accuracy. The typing test was my favorite part, seriously. The recruiter told me to hopefully expect a phone call from her (or the actual job people? I can’t follow the web of confusion that is the recruiting process) in the next week or so.

So I went home feeling kind of weird about it, because it didn’t feel like I was any closer to the job, I didn’t have anything tangible to come away with, and if history teaches us anything, that hasn’t been a good sign for me.

The rest of Monday was good; I called my parents and told them the good news about my phone interview, and about the recruiting interview. Here’s where I need to pause and apologize to some of you, my dear readers. (AKA my regular friends?! Wtf, self. Don’t act like you’re awesome) I had talked to some of you in between Friday and Sunday, telling you about these job prospects and the, erm, locations of said jobs. And by the time Monday rolled around, and I updated those people, and had to tell new people for reference and other purposes, I felt like I was jinxing myself by telling too many people when I had nothing secured. So that’s why there were not more phone calls or texts or emails to those of you I would normally talk to in a heartbeat about my exciting news, I was so afraid of doing even the slightest thing to upset the Gods of Overconfidence Comeuppance or whatever. Plus, the more people I told before Thursday, the more depressing/humiliating phone calls I would have to make after it was over.

See, the phone interview was for a job in New York. Yeah. And the start date was August 17th, a mere two weeks from my initial interview. So in my excitement Monday, I let my imagination take the reigns and I contacted friends and a few people on Craigslist about apartments, to see what was out there in case I really had to make a quick move. This also added to the jinx. By Tuesday afternoon I was mentally moved into an apartment on the upper west side, hosting friends from home on my couch on the weekends and going for walks in Central Park. Partly because I’m completely delusional, but also because that’s where the office was where I was interviewing.

Wednesday afternoon I took Megabus up to NYC and met Rosa, my gracious guide, host, savior, and life coach. We went back to her apartment and had dinner and caught up. It was a nice evening with my dear friend in a fun city that I hoped I could also live in, in a matter of a week and a half.

I spent Thursday reviewing my materials and preparing my answers. Nervously and anxiously. I made my way down to their office and sat on a bench outside Central Park (also right outside their office) and waited – because I left insanely early in the event I became a total idiot and couldn’t ride a train properly, which didn’t happen. Go me.

So, the interview happened, and I made my way back to Ro’s apartment to decompress. It felt so great to be done. Later in the evening I went to meet this girl and see a potential apartment that is really close to the office, and that was fine. I’m reserving judgment at this point. I'll save it for another day.

You may be noticing I am dragging out the events leading up to Thursday and leaving you clueless about the interview. It’s because I want you to feel the way I felt. Anxious up until that moment (or paragraph, in your case?) and then, not sure what the results would be.

Part Two is coming. That’s right, I’m making you WAIT. Because I HAVE TO.


(at this exact moment, as I post this, I don’t know if I got it or not and I’m leaning towards “not got”)