intermission

This is not Part Three. That will come later next week probably. But there are a few things I would like to share with you before then.

One. This:



I love this video. I think my favorite part is how cartoonishly the woman is brought out of her old-person stupor by the honking.

Two. As you have now read, there was about a week of time when I thought I would have to make a lightning-quick move up to NYC. I actually had living arrangements available – but for the first two weeks I would have had to live out of suitcases because my designated room would not have been vacated until September 1st. So, this would lead you all to believe I would just bring my clothes, toiletries, and/or ONLY the essential items I would need to exist, wouldn’t it?

I kid you not, when I was skimming over a mentally prepared packing list, I included my Arrested Development DVDs. Seriously. I wasn’t even going to bring my TV, but those DVDs? Yep. I don’t know what this says about me, but it can't be good.

Three. For dinner last night I made a roasted red pepper sauce to put over pasta. If you were wondering, it was delicious. So while I was in the grocery store browsing the produce section for the necessary items, and I look up and this woman…um, was full-on reaching into her pants to, I’m assuming, fix her underwear. Not on the outside of her pants, not trying to be discreet by backing up against her cart or a display of some kind, just…going for it. Really digging around in there. I mean, we’ve all been there with underwear problems in public places, and depending on how public and who I’m with, well, I wouldn’t care either. So I wasn’t sure if I was slightly grossed out or that I admired her self-confidence, if you want to call it that? Is it a lack of manners or bravado? I honestly can’t decide.

when it rains, it pours. and then you're waiting around for rainbows like some kind of jackass.*

I slept in on Friday, just because I could finally let my body relax. I had seriously been a mess of nerves and tension and stress, and I hadn’t eaten or slept very much since Monday. You know it’s bad when I can’t eat or sleep. I love both of those things! They’re both favorites.

I packed up all my crap and hauled it to meet Ro at her office – we got lunch from Pret and ate it in Bryant Park. It was LOVELY. And then she walked me to the subway and directed me to the Megabus stop and I made my way home. And then we realized we both forgot that I still had her house keys. Oops. Never fear, her roommate was also visiting DC and they were returned to her and made their way safely back to NYC and to Rosa’s loving and responsible hands, and god willing, never mine ever again. Sorry Ro!

Oh, also, I checked my email on my phone randomly, and my NYC interviewer had requested references and a writing sample. I was BACK IN THE GAME!

Anyway, it’s here I’ll apologize AGAIN for not mentioning a trip to NYC, or even the initial good news/progress of the 2nd interview. Even though it went well, and I was excited and initially went back into my NEW YORK STATE OF MIND (oh my GOD, just stop reading. And stop being friends with me. I’m even disgusted with myself for making that joke. But I’m keeping it because I keep it real, you all need to know the real me) – ahem – I still knew better, and I knew I wasn’t out of the woods yet. Anything could happen and there was something bugging at me, telling me there were more unforeseen hurdles. I knew there were plenty of dream-crushing opportunities left in this situation.

So I did my best to enjoy the weekend, I met Lesley down at Potomac Mills to shop and have dinner; it’s the last time I will see her for a while because she is moving to Fort Collins, CO with a friend of hers. No job, just looking for a change of scenery, packing it up and moving out there. I’m so impressed by that. Even with the potential NYC thing, it’s only because I was in the process of getting a job. I don’t think I have the balls to just move somewhere on hope and determination. I admire people that do.

On Monday I had lunch with a friend/former coworker in DC, who was also one of my references. Still feeling optimistic.

On Tuesday, I went to Kelley’s parents house to hang out with her, her fam, and the boys. In the back of my head, I knew I should be finding out something, or hearing from at least one of my references. I chose to ignore this and decided that Wednesday, Wednesday was the Day. If I didn’t know then it would be over.

On Wednesday, I don’t think I did much other than start to panic and create scenarios in which I might still have the job. I wanted to grasp at denial with all my might just a little bit longer. Forget Wednesday! Friday, Friday is the Day.

On Thursday I had to pull the biggest douche move that this millennium will ever see. I made the craptastic decision that I couldn’t go to Ben and Jess’ wedding, due to finances and “just waiting one more day” and another reason that will come in Part Three. (a Trilogy! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. You’ll stop reading halfway through because it’s boring)

Today I got The Email. The breakup email. I didn’t get the job. It confirmed what I already knew, and since I spent Thursday being sad, today I moved on to being angry. And then found a nice little cocoon in which I can bitch about how I didn’t really want that job anyway, so THERE, etc.

The crazy thing is, that last one might be less cocoon-induced (that sounds…gross) and more real. I was most excited about this job because:

1. Exciting, fast-paced move to New York
2. The company is really cool, and in the arts
3. It was A job.

It wasn’t THE job. And please note that THE job is not something I’m still holding out for, because, after eight months of job searching, my sense of entitlement is not that strong. It’s admittedly stronger than it should be, but I understand compromise and sacrifice and I acknowledge the necessity of both.

Foreshadowing! : Tuesday at the Thomas’ house, Kel and I were watching Meet the Robinsons, for which Kel’s mom jovially made fun of us. Hee. But it’s a good movie! Anyway, the notion of Keep Moving Forward is something I can use right about now. And I will be doing my best to keep it in mind. And yes, I am rolling my eyes at myself for trying to draw actual inspiration as a twenty six year old adult from a movie that is made for someone that is learning the intricacies of life via spelling bees and multiplication tables.


*Copyright Laura Benson 2009. All Rights Reserved.**



**What does All Rights Reserved mean?

when it rains, it pours.

So, it all started on Thursday, July 30th. Earlier in the evening I applied to a few jobs, like I usually do. Didn’t think too much of it. Went to bed around 11, and, didn’t sleep. Thursday night was one of the worst nights I’ve had in a long time. I couldn’t sleep, and rolling around in my head were all the negative thoughts about myself, my life, and my current job situation that have been plaguing me for the past eight months. Normally they’re kind of just…around. But I let them in on full force Thursday night and it was unbearable. It was ugly, let’s leave it at that. So I’m in bed sobbing disgustingly, and finally I can’t take it and I get out of bed, turn on the lights and just let it all go in my written journal (yes, I have one. Even though I get REAL personal up in here, there are some things that should be left to a written journal or a conversation between friends after a couple of glasses of wine. – also, isn’t it sad that some kids these days realllllly don’t have the sense to know that? – also also, can you believe I just said “kids these days” ??) Um, what? Oh, ugly thoughts written in journal, right. So yeah, I got ‘em all on paper and felt a little better, I guess. Sometimes you don’t realize how overwhelmingly negative or irrational your thoughts are until you put them on paper. So since I was up, I went online to look at some of my more obscure job posting places and see if there was anything new. I applied to another job on a whim.

Dawn breaks, and I don’t see it because I don’t get up until 11. Seriously, you know whose blog you’re reading, right? The day went on as it normally does, except for that by the end of it, both jobs I had applied to on Thursday (the rational 8pm one and the hysterical last-ditch wtf 1:30am one) had contacted me for interviews on Monday. I was excited but also nervous and full of dread. The four interviews I had prior to these had not gone well, so why should these be any different?

I spent the weekend preparing, way more than I usually do. Going line by line on the job description, making sure I have responses for all the job functions, preparing questions, maybe an anecdote or two (seriously) and taking a few notes on the companies. I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night.

So I had my phone interview on Monday and ten minutes in I thought to myself, “Well there goes THAT, way to be awful, self”. Why ten minutes in? Because I had chosen to prepare myself and my notes at the dining room table, where apparently my phone doesn’t get reception. So the interviewer called, and I didn’t pick up. Luckily by the time I realized something was up, I think it was only 2 minutes after she had called, but STILL. So I called her back, apologized profusely and explained the situation, and on the interview went. Somehow, my sparkling personality and professional acumen earned me a 2nd interview on Thursday. I was excited, really excited. It was moving quickly, it gave me a confidence boost for the in-person interview I had later that day, and also, when was the last time I even got to this stage? Good times.

The other interview on Monday was a little weird, because it was actually with a recruiter on behalf of the position I had applied to. So I went in there and she ended up forwarding my resume to the job I had originally applied to, as well as another one. Freebie! Then I took a typing test. 63 WPM, 99% accuracy. The typing test was my favorite part, seriously. The recruiter told me to hopefully expect a phone call from her (or the actual job people? I can’t follow the web of confusion that is the recruiting process) in the next week or so.

So I went home feeling kind of weird about it, because it didn’t feel like I was any closer to the job, I didn’t have anything tangible to come away with, and if history teaches us anything, that hasn’t been a good sign for me.

The rest of Monday was good; I called my parents and told them the good news about my phone interview, and about the recruiting interview. Here’s where I need to pause and apologize to some of you, my dear readers. (AKA my regular friends?! Wtf, self. Don’t act like you’re awesome) I had talked to some of you in between Friday and Sunday, telling you about these job prospects and the, erm, locations of said jobs. And by the time Monday rolled around, and I updated those people, and had to tell new people for reference and other purposes, I felt like I was jinxing myself by telling too many people when I had nothing secured. So that’s why there were not more phone calls or texts or emails to those of you I would normally talk to in a heartbeat about my exciting news, I was so afraid of doing even the slightest thing to upset the Gods of Overconfidence Comeuppance or whatever. Plus, the more people I told before Thursday, the more depressing/humiliating phone calls I would have to make after it was over.

See, the phone interview was for a job in New York. Yeah. And the start date was August 17th, a mere two weeks from my initial interview. So in my excitement Monday, I let my imagination take the reigns and I contacted friends and a few people on Craigslist about apartments, to see what was out there in case I really had to make a quick move. This also added to the jinx. By Tuesday afternoon I was mentally moved into an apartment on the upper west side, hosting friends from home on my couch on the weekends and going for walks in Central Park. Partly because I’m completely delusional, but also because that’s where the office was where I was interviewing.

Wednesday afternoon I took Megabus up to NYC and met Rosa, my gracious guide, host, savior, and life coach. We went back to her apartment and had dinner and caught up. It was a nice evening with my dear friend in a fun city that I hoped I could also live in, in a matter of a week and a half.

I spent Thursday reviewing my materials and preparing my answers. Nervously and anxiously. I made my way down to their office and sat on a bench outside Central Park (also right outside their office) and waited – because I left insanely early in the event I became a total idiot and couldn’t ride a train properly, which didn’t happen. Go me.

So, the interview happened, and I made my way back to Ro’s apartment to decompress. It felt so great to be done. Later in the evening I went to meet this girl and see a potential apartment that is really close to the office, and that was fine. I’m reserving judgment at this point. I'll save it for another day.

You may be noticing I am dragging out the events leading up to Thursday and leaving you clueless about the interview. It’s because I want you to feel the way I felt. Anxious up until that moment (or paragraph, in your case?) and then, not sure what the results would be.

Part Two is coming. That’s right, I’m making you WAIT. Because I HAVE TO.


(at this exact moment, as I post this, I don’t know if I got it or not and I’m leaning towards “not got”)

my week in cooking

This is the post in which I talk about some things I’ve cooked/made in the last week, and pretend they took even a modicum of effort or talent, all while feigning like I have something in common with the cooking/food blog I obsess over. Enjooooyyyy!

Pizza – I made the dough with flour, active yeast, lukewarm water, vegetable oil, some onion and garlic powder, salt and honey. Then I added onions, red peppers, Italian seasoning, mozzarella, a little bit of pesto and a sprinkling of parmesan. Into the oven it went and it came out all browned and bubbly and perfect-looking. I loved making the dough – doughs/breads intimidate me greatly and I was worried that it wouldn’t be edible. Or worse, I’d find out it wasn’t edible after I ate it. I am happy to report that this was not the case. It was tasty.

Chicken tacos with corn and mango salsa – Sad to say that the mango salsa was pre-made. But the chicken I made by throwing together some chicken (um, duh), chili powder, cumin, and cayenne pepper and garlic pepper. Then tossed in the corn to cook with the chicken for a bit and bedded on tortillas with chopped romaine lettuce, and salsa on top. I have to say, these tasted fine, but the best part was how they looked. They were just so pretty, with the colors and freshness and everything. I'll probably go back to my other version of this using tilapia and old bay instead of chicken/corn. It tastes much better, but still looks just as pretty.

Greek salad - feta cheese, red peppers, olives, romaine and baby spinach tossed in homemade dressing – some olive oil, red wine and balsamic vinegar, and various lovely spices. The best part was that I kind of adapted the recipe in an “I’m gonna wing it” kind of way, and it doesn’t always end well when I try this. It did this time! It was pretty delish. Not as good as the one I had at Niko Niko’s in Houston, but still good.

Garden veggie cream cheese – Two things: I have no idea how to make cream cheese, let me put that out there. Also, I will fight anyone that thinks that Philly or “tubbed” cream cheese is better than deli/freshly-made kind. Because it isn’t. But it’s also all I had that particular morning, so, I dealt with it. I took 1/3-fat regular cream cheese and added finely chopped carrots, celery, black olives, chives, and a little bit of onion powder, salt and pepper. It was pretty damn good, though the best garden veggie cream cheese is Wegmans deli version. I think they use crack. I don’t exactly know how to get a hold of some crack, NOR DO I WANT TO, so I will have to continue to pay Wegmans to make the cream cheese for me. Though my version did get the highly desired Frank Benson Seal of Approval.*

Pasta – Spinach, whole wheat penne, the rest of the feta from the Greek salad, a little parmesan, olive oil and Italian seasoning. Quite good. And nice that it all fit so well together using ingredients from earlier meals in the week.

Either I made these up (the tacos, pasta, and the cream cheese) or Google helped me find the recipes – usually cooks.com has simple and quick stuff, and allrecipes.com has steered me in the right direction a couple of times. The link on the right, Smitten Kitchen, is my faaaavorite cooking blog and I’ve made a number of her recipes. They’ve been good, but I’m nowhere near as good of a cook as her so my versions never come close to the way hers look or (I’m sure) taste.

Anyway, these were all fun and colorful meals and even if they weren’t the healthiest things all the time, they were at least somewhat fresh and all (sort of) had vegetables. Also, do you notice that I use red peppers in like everything I cook? Seriously, I love them. What’s weird is that I used to avoid them like the plague, I don’t know why. I also used to say I didn’t like mustard even though I had never really tried it. I mean, I’m not overly enthused about the condiment now, but it has its place in my sandwich repertoire. I still hate tomatoes despite many a tasting. Now that my dear departed Grandmother is no longer around, I don’t have anyone forcing me to try them. Every Christmas I would be lectured about my distaste for tomatoes, and I’d have to try them while being assured I would like them (“They’re *insert variety here*, they taste much more *positive food adjective* than regular tomatoes. Eat it!”) And every Christmas, they would still taste like butt.

Well that paragraph took a left turn at weird, didn’t it? You are now all witness to my train of thought, typed out. And it usually gets a LOT more random than that. So, uh, I’m gonna go ahead and quit while I’m…not…ahead.

What tasty delights have YOU made this week?



*I can tell when he really likes something because he uses the word “outrageous”.

What happens in Charlestown...

I feel like I need to start a separate blog of all the ridiculous things my father says.

The other night, after his first G&T of the evening (which he calls his "malaria prevention measures") Frank comes upstairs singing the jingle from a locally run commercial for a particular West Virginia gambling establishment : "Charlestoooooown, Races and Sluts - I mean slots"

title fail, epic win

I first want to point out that after getting home last night, capping off two weeks of insane traveling and partying and no sleep and other general craziness, I went to bed at 7PM and woke up at 8AM THIS MORNING. THIRTEEN HOURS and I didn't wake up once in between. Geez.

Anyway.

I have made several posts both here and in blogs past about how awesome the college crew is. Can you blame me, really? I’m in the damn group, so maybe you thought I was a little biased. But this weekend, we have REAL PROOF that we are. Brian’s wedding weekend brought us a handful of new friends, and an official new in-law (though Christy was already totally “in”, if you will) and it was epic.

I am a big believer in combining worlds – I love to see different groups of my friends hit it off. The More the Merrier! Consolidation! It’s all good in my book. So when we spent the entire weekend partying for hours on end with a few of Brian’s LSU friends, so much so that by the actual wedding we felt like old friends, well, weekend, you win.

Thursday had me get up at 5inthegodforsakenAM (EST) and pick up Missy and Franklin to head to Dulles. We all kind of bided our time with the mall, and room switching before the rest of the gang arrived throughout the day. After we had a lovely group dinner we saw Harry Potter (eee!) and then went back to the hotel while some of the guys joined the bachelor party. Later we all converged and laughed and drank and played games and were generally very silly. We went to bed at 5am Houston time, which means I had been up for 26 hours. Surprisingly I didn’t feel bad at all – probably because the day was so freaking awesome.

Um, I suppose I don’t really need to recap anything anyway b/c the people that read this were all there, no? So we’ll leave it with: Pool. Most Amazing Greek Dinner Ever. More Awesome Partying with New Friends. Beautiful Emotional Wedding. Dancing. Delicious Champagne. No Sleep. And then flying home in a shit-can plane.

Also, the week before included a marathon surprise trip down to Savannah for a pre-wedding weekend for Ben and Jess! Hooray surprises!!! Again, almost everyone who reads this was there or has already heard about it, so we’ll continue the same format: 3AM Arrival. Drinking and New Friends. Beach. Greg Kinnear. Batshit Craziness. Fun. Cookout. No Sleep. Sparklers. South of the Border.

In other news, we didn’t get to play fact-game this weekend, so didn’t really have the opportunity to tell everyone that I had a phone interview on Tuesday. I think it went okay, but I don’t think I am going to move any further in the process. I’d like to put it out there that I would like to, though! I just have the feeling.

Finally, I took zero pictures of either event so…everyone, get to posting them so I can steal them or link them or something! The end.

so many possibilities

Page 25. "Teddy saw her again, her back to him as she walked down the apartment hallway, wearing one of his old uniform shirts, humming as she turned into the kitchen, and a familiar weariness invaded his bones. He would prefer to do just about anything – swim in that water even – rather than speak of Dolores, one of the facts of her being on this earth for thirty-one years and then ceasing to be. Just like that. There when he left for work that morning. Gone by the afternoon." Where are my crayons.

Page 155. "And then she turned away and started walking. The orderlies fell into step and they walked down the breezeway and through a side door into the hospital." I like to color.

---

You know how sometimes you just need to know more about a person?

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had checked out a large-print edition of a book from the library. That book was Shutter Island, by Dennis Lehane. Same guy who wrote Mystic River. Anywho, a few weeks ago I saw the first 30 seconds or so of a trailer for the movie of Shutter Island, coming out in October – directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Leo DiCaprio. The Departed is one of my favorite movies (YOU WANT HIM TO CHOP ME UP AND FEED ME TO THE POOAHHH?!) so I immediately had confidence in this movie. I also liked Mystic River (the movie, never read the book) so I also figured the man could write a story.

He can. He totally can. The book was great, even though I felt incredibly foolish reading the large print edition. But that’s not why I’m telling you all this. Though I will find any excuse to shout/obnoxiously type that Departed quote because it amuses me to no end.

See those bolded/italicized sentences? Namely about crayons and coloring?! They were, I shit you not, written in pen in the book. The book about crazy people. I love the person who wrote it. So many personality-possibilities. Actual crazy person? Vandalism-fetishist? Fan of irony? Something way out of left field?

I hope it was intentional and the irony of scribblings about crayons and colorings in a book about a mental institution was not lost on the unauthorized contributor. HA! So great. But does it end there? Why those two paragraphs? Is our writer perhaps not a crazy/weird individual but an English professor with a PhD writing an abridged version of his/her dissertation on modern literature?!

So, new anonymous friend of mine, no matter what your inspiration, I enjoyed your additions to Shutter Island. I can only hope that I will find more of your musings in other books I get from Reston Regional; perhaps tales of eating paste or uncooked macaroni in Julie & Julia or workout tips and anecdotes of ultimate fighting in Illuminating the Path to Enlightenment.